a poem by the bedside...

Rain swarms and branches outside sway hello and
the even the dogs don’t look happy

There’s enough luck to go around.

My sheets are dotted green and white
and though it is time I can’t seem to change
them,
see i’ve been doing that a lot lately,
grasping onto small and unimportant objects
because they contain, like a winged creature in an amber
drop, a feeling, a menacing and nostalgic patter
of
tiny
tiny
wings
and I can’t for the life of me let them escape-
though they are not they, they are just whats or thats,
socks and the colors of the blankets together and with the curtains and the candle and drawer arrangements-
stupid, really,
to think that changing my shirt that for a few days looked good
would shift the earth, my heart, and I won’t get it back,
even
with the second rinse cycle
even
though i believed in its power as surely as i did not.

Air and light and time and Space

April. I had a neighbor named April when I was little. She came over and traded out our Peeps on Easter when my birthday fell on that day- I had a big cut on my eye with stitches and I believe it was my 7th birthday. My sisters and I didn't care much for the Peeps but traded for other gory and colorful stuff brought to us by the american holiday association.

This month has been good, maybe more than that, productive. At the beginning I went into "pre production" mode in my basement and started going a bit mad with arranging organic parts with a synth, which can paint a fine picture but also makes it hard to see the outcome. I wore the same "Dave King is my Homeboy" shirt for 3 days in a row, slept in it once, and was afraid to change it for fear of losing my momentum. My friend James was playing drums with me a bit in my little hovel downstairs and then one day my neighbor told me that she couldn't take it anymore. I asked her if there was room to budge, a good time or a bad time for us to play, and she said "No. I did the whole 'musician living in my house thing' when I was in my, like, twenties, in San Francisco". Oh. That explains it! Despite her blowing the whistle on my months of playing music down there before she up and started working from home, I haven't been much up to being there, and have been just playing around for friends and listening to the demos I do have and gripping slightly for the studio time coming up in May. I decided to do my record half at this studio in Cannon Falls (Home of the CANNON CAMERA!), Mn, called Pachyderm. My record "Lure the Fox" was recorded there. So was Nirvana's "In Utero" and PJ Harvey's "Is this Desire" among many many others, and you can hear it in the way the drums sound in the room- though the studio has changed hands and they got rid of their tape machine (sad), the room sound is hard to beat. The rest of the record we're doing at the engineer's farm house, which, I just found out, used to be a sanitorium. Alright. The cast of characters on this new record is lovely, and I absolutely can not wait for it to happen, have happened, be released. It's a wonderful and sometimes excruciating feeling, waiting on something good.

On May 20th I am participating as the musical guest on NPR's new show "Wits" recorded at the Fitzgerald Theater in St. Paul. Apparently each show has a theme and the theme that night will be animals, so I found a couple of fun covers to do that night, and am hoping that an original animal song may appear sometime between now and then? Anyway, the guest author that night is Susan Orlean, who is famous for her book "The Orchid Theif", which I didn't read, but did see that strange movie "Adaptation", which was interesting. More information here.

In other news. Listening to: Bob Marley and the Wailers "In the Beginning", Neil Young "American Stars and Bars", The Strokes "Is this It", Samantha Crain "You (understood)".
Reading: Charles Bukowski "Last night of the Earth Poems". So good...see the one I posted below.

Thanks for reading. Happy Spring!
xo/hb




Air and Light and Time and Space by Charles Bukowski

"-you know, I've either had a family, a job, something
has always been in the
way
but now
I've sold my house, I've found this
place, a large studio, you should see the space and
the light.
for the first time in my life I'm going to have a place and the time to
create."

no baby, if you're going to create
you're going to create whether you work
16 hours a day in a coal mine
or
you're going to create in a small room with 3 children
while you're on
welfare,
you're going to create with part of your mind and your
body blown
away,
you're going to create blind
crippled
demented,
you're going to create with a cat crawling up your
back while
the whole city trembles in earthquake, bombardment,
flood and fire.

baby, air and light and time and space
have nothing to do with it
and don't create anything
except maybe a longer life to find
new excuses
for.

Yeah, yeah, and a birthday cake

I have been lazy with this blog. But that's okay because my MILLIONS of followers are so very patient with me. Tomorrow I will be 27 years old. I have a feeling this year will be good- all the shitstorms of 26 will rest, full, strong. And after my birthday, I will write a proper blog equipped with photos from this month and tell my eager sweating fans what the heck I'm up to these days!
xo/hb

when the ides go marching in (thoughts and pictures of an early spring, i suppose)

The signs are large upon us, the belts, fists,
blooming night skies and we wake up
to the sun, finally, on our blinds and lids and porcelain
stretching across the mounds of a dusty duvet
'the cat hair is free' the pillow says.

my sister paints away a carnival i can never see
a distant parade mumbling sadly in the sand dunes
my earrings humming birds on my lobes,
tiny rugs of beads made by a stranger woman who sold
them in a gas station

we hear each other and never speak
blue eyes are locked and lowered down
like the world's longest hair

high in a tower
he falls to his death
his wings work,
but it doesn't matter-
nothing ever really did, in that 3 seconds
speedily,
when all was made of love and it carried him
to a mud bed face-up and beautiful,
a good friend to the firmament and all who live above
our sleepy lolly-gag



crappy photos of beautiful Torey Bonar paintings taken while in MN last week at Umber Studio.
random poem inspired by these and springtime and astrological signs.

between the wish and the thing the world lies waiting.

(Mountains and spikes
crystals and corners
a table and a piece of counting tape
boats and bathtubs
letters and diamonds
a box and an ice cube
cookies and holes
a barette and a pin
a stop sign and a clock)----from a wall in a park....

Me this week, in a moment:
Listening to beautiful music,
reading a really good book
meeting new friends and
new families with really adorable and sweet children
writing new music
watching daffodils and tulips sprout up all over the city and the people
do too, riding and running and walking about in their corridors
and i am in some small way a part of it and i am in some way
very lucky and mystified and humbled because i really don't know
much else other than what is in front of me,
and, recently,
it is goodness.

( Leo, 3, and I drew on a rainysidewalk.)






(Eliza, 4, took these pictures at the park:)

Sweet Tooth/Cryin' Shame/Happy Valentines day

So last night as my friend Suz and I were singing loudly with the crowd to the song "Sweet Tooth" at the Dave Rawlings Machine show, I thought about what a good valentines day it is after all.
It's pretty easy to get sentimental, grossly nostalgic, bitter, or just depressed because of a Hallmark holiday, but if you can just get over that part (tongue in cheek) and let yourself wear red and pink tights, eat chocolate, get purple lips, and think about the good shit, it's actually a pretty great little day. I'm feeling the whiskey from last night's rollicking, but luckily my sweet ma sent me some chocolates and fancy soaps (thanks ma!).
Here are some pictures from my Valentines week that make me feel pretty sweet...
Happy Valentines Day! love, hb

Zach and Eliza and I made valentines using potato stamps, googly eyes, glitter, and Tinkerbell stickers.

At my favorite coffee shop, a beautiful dog stylishly waits by a hydrant for his owner to get his coffee.




Eliza and Pete finally
meet and become fast friends....

The Dave Rawlings Machine at the Roseland Theater!

Me+Suz+whisky+trimet=good time valentines.

And the stinkiest valentine of all is Pete, my sweet old man.

you should, well, read this poem. a few times.

The Possibilities (Beckian Fritz Goldberg)

After a wife’s death a man may talk
to his horse with a great tenderness
as if, just this morning, he had tried on
her pink slipper. And if he has no horse
he may crack his window a little
wider when it lightly rains to confirm
the roofs and trees are made
of paper. If there is no rain
he may make himself a meal at midnight,
sweet artichokes and Danish cheese,
a glass of red wine. If there is
no red, then white. He may suck the knife
clean with his tongue. Later

lying awake he may hear the wild lung
of a motorcycle far off on a far road.
If there is no motorcycle, a dog
trying for any syllable in any known
language. Something falling suddenly in
the closet, according to some law.

Nearness in the dark is a kind of beauty
though it is only a lampshade, a shoulder
of the walnut chair. If there is no chair,
then a shelf. A shelf of books with the devil’s
violet fedora tossed on top. Or something
exotic from the sea, manta ray

like the pulse in the ball of his foot.
A man may walk ten steps behind
his life. It may be sorrow of fear.
He may see her back like two doves rushing
up where a boy has flung a handful
of pebbles. If no pebbles, leaves
where a masked prowler hunches, his belt of
lockpicks, his bag of velvet like the one
from which memory snatches. These are

the possibilities, the immaculate
like miracles which are nothing
in themselves, but in this world a sign
of angels, ghosts, supernatural beings
who watch us. Who listen. Who sometimes
helplessly let us stumble on
their pyramids, their crude observatories
or let us, generation after
generation, speak to the broken horse
of the human heart.

sunny times.

It's been so beautiful here...
Last week week we got mini cupcakes from Saint Cupcake and sat in the park to feast.


Pete enjoys most of his days on the warm carpet in the sun.

If you look closely, you will see little horsies on the curbs in Portland.

chopping a new niche.

About a week and a half ago I returned from a wintery and near perfect trip back to Minnesota to play a show and see some friends. It felt good to see familiar faces and bars and frostbitten fingertips, and the kids show I played for Rock the cradle ended up being a blast. A kid even passed out in the front row on his dad's coat during the last couple of songs. Some very small girls were dancing wildly behind me while I was singing. It was great. I also recorded a Vic Chesnutt song called "Gepetto" (from his record "Little") for an upcoming benefit album. My friend Ethan Sutton from Spaghetti Western String Co. played on it, and we're really happy with the outcome! Going back to my old homestead used to be more difficult, especially in terms of leaving it to return to my new city. But now it feels good both landing and flying away. I seem to gain a bit more perspective on what exactly it is I'm doing here and with my life and what I'm learning and experiencing in general, and this in itself is quite rewarding. Fortunately I am feeling like I have hit a stride in my new life here both with work and creativity, and this is a sacred thing which I am thankful for every day. Of course, that goes without saying that I miss my friends back in the midwest, but I am enjoying the process of meeting and befriending new people as well.
I don't have much to say other than I often have the feeling similar to that of leaving a good friend's house after a great meal- full, and more than just the literal sense of the word- content with the figures which have scribbled my fate and simple sense of existence right now. I know this is a waning feeling, which is part of what makes it so unique and delicate. I've been reading good books, writing every day, running every day, listening to a lot of music, and hanging out with good people. I also really like my job as a nanny, and though it is testing at times, I even like that part of it, too. The other day it was in the 50's and sunny here, so I dusted off my trusty bike and went for a ride. Above is a picture of a really awesome tree in Laurelhurst park. Here's me in my fancy ass helmet taking my own picture. This is a project that Eliza did on her own last night using glue, paper clips and small rubber bands. She was quite proud of herself, and I think it's pretty fetching.

Here are my recent and or current musings:
*books
She's Come Undone by Wally Lamb
The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls (GREAT read)
just started Sometimes A Great Notion by Ken Kesey

*musique
"Wake Up" by the Walkmen (from Everyone Who Pretended to Like Me is Gone)
Philip Glass solo piano (Metamorphosis 1-5 rule)
"untitled fantastic" by Slum Village (from a recently received mix cd that's awesome!)
"Imagine" album John Lennon Plastic Ono Band
"After the Goldrush" Neil Young

*etc.
making pizza from scratch
the Avalon nickle arcade (skee ball, anyone?)
salty chocolate

thanks for reading this stuff.
xo, hb(mt st helens and mt hood from the airplane)

Pirates, whales, rats, and cormac.

Last night I dreamt that I sailed out to a cold island off the northern atlantic coast with an old pirate called Pim, and I kept asking him if Cormac Macarthy was really going to be there when we arrived. "This is not for me to say", he said gruffly, tiny diamonds of ice clinging to his beard.
From not far off the coast I could see a great big black whale, bathing itself in the sunshine on the rocky shore. I was scared that it was dead, beached, and told Pim that we needed to help it. But the as we closed in on the whale, it moved and arced its giant fin, I knew it was okay, just maybe taking a break from the waves.

Cormac did greet us at the shore with a black rain slicker and matching hat. He said he had been waiting and there was tea inside the house. Pim said he could stay for an hour but he had to get back on the water before it got too dark and windy. Inside his house, Cormac had miniature animals- real ones, but very tiny, in small, clear compartments on a wall. I asked how they survived and he said they were all quite vegetarian. Paper was scattered about and he kept looking for a record to put on his turntable- I asked him if he had Phillip Glass and he told me that was pretentious. I told him I liked the cinematic feel to it and he said he hated the cinema.
I asked him what he did like and he told me he liked how safe he felt being protected by the giant animals out at sea and protecting the tiny animals on the island. "It give me perspective, and every day I write, look out my window, and wave to God".

Pim had gone without saying good bye and I felt scared and excited at all I could learn.
****
I read this quote today but I'm not sure who wrote it: "It is just that their powerful and golden leonine energy sweeps away everything before it, overwhelming as a mighty wave that doesn't ask permission of ships or shells". I like that, doesn't ask permission of ships or shells. Should we consider these small things? Or should we wave? It reminds me of C.S. Lewis or something.

On a side note, a homeless woman asked me for change this morning on my way to get coffee beans. I said yes and she told me she was trying to remember how to say Mickey Mouse in Spanish. She said the first part, and I said "raton?" She said, "Ah, ci! Raton cita! How did you know this?" I said I don't know, I don't speak Spanish, just a few words.

It was a good way to start out the day! I feel happy.

my week in pictures...

This week has been pretty great. I am also pretty snap happy with my new camera, and wanted to share some photos of what I'm all about lately in Portland. For Christmas, my dad and his wife got me and my sisters gift cards from Anthropologie, a store I mostly avoid due to the high prices and achy feeling of want that I leave with, so this time it was nice to shop for something without sweating the price too much. This is the sweater I got! The collar is like a mock scarf that loops through a hole on the other side. Snap buttons, too! I'm so dorky. And fancy.

Speaking of fancy, I went to a restaurant downtown called Fish Grotto, which has been a bridge town establishment for over 100 years. It was very tasty, and I even tried two things I've turned my nose up to my whole life: Mussels- wow, yum. And RABBIT (pictured below). It was very tasty, actually, and I liked it better than chicken, though I probably won't make a habbit out of it. The next day when I was walking by a department store, a woman with pamphlets asked if I would be interested in an anti-fur organization. On the cover of her pamphlet was a cute little bunny.

On the subject of cute, the kiddos I nanny, Eliza (4) and Zachary (7), have had a fun week due to the cool and rainy weather. One of their favorite things to do is go to the OMSI (Science Museum). Here Eliza found one of the robots disguised as a cute baby doll. She was obsessed with it's strange sounds.



There was a big to do in our neighborhood with the new Whole Foods Market opening just 2 blocks away from our house! My roomie Suzanne is a marketing director for the pacific northwest stores, so she was busy busy at the special Hollywood "Red Carpet" party. We dressed up a bit to feast on the many free samples of food and beverage. They even rented a paparazzi background to get a photo in front of! Tony Starlight, a neighborhood legend, performed oldies with his band right in the store. It was pretty cool for a grocery store opening!

I have been running every day, slowly clearing out my lungs (tomorrow is two weeks without a cigarette!). This also makes me very bake-happy. I made chocolate chip cookies a couple of nights ago, and also french baguettes with whipped sea salt butter last night! Yum. It's amazing how simple it is to bake bread, it's just all about the timing, and having the time to do so. I had to let mine rise for much longer while I was at work, but it still turned out well.
<---(I found this great little bedside table at House of Vintage for $35 as well and rearranged my bedroom).

Anyway, that's about it for now. I am excited to return to Minnesota in a less than a couple of weeks to play The Current's Rock the Cradle event and hang out with some friends... Thanks for reading!




Later/*hb

Chilly Weather Solution for my Midwest homies...

I've heard through the grapevine, and the weather reports, that the moaning wind coming from the midwest is not just the people living there. In other words, it's really frickin' cold and everyone is bummed. I'd like to say 'ha ha', but it hasn't been much warmer out here in stumptown with the chilling wind and rain making it unpleasant to do much but drink hot beverages and eat warm food as soon as you get inside.
As a gift I recieved a much-coveted copy of Martha Stewart's "Great Food Fast", a wonderful little cookbook divided into seasons, with a whole section in the back about the basics, something that is nice to have around without leafing through a giant book. Last night I tried a VERY EASY vegetarian (vegan, even) version of her "Moroccan Chicken Cous Cous", substituting with tofu instead, and it was delicious. So, my Minnesota friends, this is for you- if I were freezing my butt off with you there I would have a dinner party and cook this belly warmer. Do it!

Moroccan chicken (or tofu) Cous Cous
serves 4-6, takes 45 min. total.

you need:
Half block of extra firm tofu, cubed (or you can do the 8 bone-in skinless chicken thighs)
3 carrots, cut into 1.5 " chunks
1.5 onion (the recipe calls for 3 but that is WAY too much), thinly sliced
1 (14.5) oz. can whole tomatoes, drained
1 (15.5) oz. can of garbonzo beans, rinsed and drained
1 3/4 c. veggie or chicken broth
1/2 tsp ground ginger (i used fresh, worth it)
1/4 tsp ground turmeric
1/4 tsp ground cinnamon
1/8 tsp chili powder
course sea salt, ground pepper
2 zucchini, halved crosswise and quartered lengthwise
1/2 fresh jalapeno (optional, but good)
cous cous, for serving (easy recipe at the bottom)

you cook:
1. In large pot with lid combine everything except the zucchini, breaking up the tomatoes with a spoon, and bring to a simmer. You do not need to pre cook onions or tofu, it all starts together! Once at a simmer, let cook for 15 mins.

2. Add zucchini, stir it up, let it cook for another 15 mins, testing for need of more salt/pepper.
3. Divide cous cous evenly among 4-6 bowls. Spoon the stew on top and serve immediately.


Wasn't that easy?
I hope you enjoy!

love, hb

Best Cous Cous recipe (From Ms. Stewart, of course, or why else would it be called "best"?)
2 c. cous cous, dry.
2 tbls. olive oil
2.5 C boiling water.

1. Put the cous cous in a medium mixing bowl, add oil and stir with a fork until coated. Flatten with the back of the fork.
2. Add 1 cup of boiling water, cover bowl with plastic or plate for 3 mins. Stir. Repeat twice until water is added and cous cous is nice n' fluffy. Add salt if desired.

so long, Mary Travers

When my sisters and I were young, my mother would play us Peter, Paul, and Mary. I recently rediscovered the song "Early in the Morning" by Paul Stooky after it was used at the end of a Mad Men episode and it sent me back into their catalog. I think I've played that song about 50 times in the last few days. I thought since the lovely Mary Travers passed away this year, I would watch some of their old footage, and found this beautiful Gordon Lightfoot cover, "For Lovin' Me". Enjoy.

xo, hb

Almost Armed

So far, 2010 has been a very long year. Yesterday my sister Kelsey and I drove from Rapid City to Denver, sad to leave the family, and got some food at a great restaurant there called City O'City and had some breaded Seitan salads and a celebratory glass of red vine, my last for a while (see new years resolution #5). I decided it was best to stay in for the big night, so I made myself comfy at her friend's house that we were staying at while they went out galavanting like good early 20-somethings should do. Me, I pretended I was a few years older than I am and watched the SyFy (what was wrong with sci-fi?)"Twilight Zone" marathon, which brought me back to a happy time in my childhood when they would do that and once my mom let me stay home from school to watch it all day. At midnight, I watched the ball drop on Times Square, feeling somewhat envious and content at the same time, a little weirded out by the Nivea ads on the ridiculous mad-hatter lids decorating a large portion of the crowd.

After some strange dreams the alarm went off and we found a Clover coffee shop (can't remember the name) before Kelsey dropped me at the airport to return to PDX. Unfortunately I was assigned to take a different flight than I ended up on, taking me not directly home but stopping for 2 hours in Spokane, which ranks on the bottom for US airports that I have been to. I shouldn't be so negative, but I REALLY REALLY don't like airports, airplanes, airport food, security lines, etc. Who does, I guess, but whenever I get home I always feel like my life has lost another year. However, I did start reading The Kite Runner today, which I literally could not put down the entire time.

On the bright side, I am home, my cat Pete is happy to see me, I have 2 discs of Mad Men season 2 to watch, and it isn't freezing cold here. Oh, and I have already completed New Years Resolution #1- I ordered a camera a few days ago, and will soon be armed and posting pictures of all sorts of strange and beautiful stuff very soon.

All that being said, plus the fact that a good majority of our fine country is probably hungover, I say 2010 officially starts... tomorrow.

Ta Ta!
xo, hb